11.11.2016

A Little Invention Called Uber

If you follow me on FB & IG, you know that my hubby and I just got back from a just-the-two-of-us adventure to mark an item off of my bucket list! We went to Boston! We both are huge History people & count our vacations around seeing neat places in History - like Normandy, France (not once, but twice)! We love to see where big things happened & to see pivotal moments in the history of our nation (and world) at their exact locations. So, this was another stop along our trek! It was absolutely amazing - and fun - and too fast! We also spent time in Salem, MA - home of the Salem Witch Trials - another crazy historical place (which it's still hard for me to believe that insanity happened). We saw Harvard & Wellesley Colleges & Lexington & Concord! Lots of stuff packed into a 3 day jaunt. But, we can't pawn our kids off for too long! Ha ha. Really...I didn't want to blog about the trip itself, because y'all saw a ton through FB & IG....but, I wanted to share a new city adventure with y'all.

So, my husband started a new job in September. He loves it a whole lot...but he's pushing the big 4-0 and he has several "millenials" working for him - and people who have adapted to the younger generation super well. It's kinda cute. He's learned a lot from them...like he has these new apps on his phone that they have shown him, he asked for a backpack to put his laptop in for his birthday. He has been to Pints & Pixels here in town...which, what the heck??? I've been trying to hang out in the Nintendo Room to get my old school Mario Bros. on at Pints & Pixels for months now & he's kicking it with the younger generation all up in there for lunch! Where's my invite? Anyway, he went on a business trip and comes home with a couple of new apps & he shows me the Uber app & explains it to me & tells me that they Uber-ed (is that a new verb?) all over San Antonio & it was phenomenal & so much cheaper than a taxi. Uh, okay. Whatever floats your boat, right?? I listened & smiled big because I love him & when he is happy, I am too. I thought this was the end of my relationship with Uber. Oh, but no, it wasn't!!!

So, when we were in Boston, we needed to get from Boston to Salem. According to my itinerary, (have you ever been on a trip with me? It's quite comical - because this girl LOVES an itinerary! I could be a travel agent if I needed some extra $$!!) we were supposed to catch the Fast Ferry from Boston to Salem. Well...when you are two working adults who NEVER get a break and NEVER sleep late, it was just too tempting, so, we missed the ferry :( The next ferry ran a couple of hours later, but we didn't want to waste the day, so I look over & there's Jimmy, on his Uber app. He says, "they can be here in 5 minutes & it will be a 30 minute drive". I told him no. I told him that I thought Uber was shady as heck. You're getting in the car with a random, people!!! A random. Didn't your parents tell you not to do that??? If you hung out with me in the 90's, didn't you know that I was the queen of what we now call Uber?? I loved to get in the car with a friendly random! Sorry, Mom & Dad. Not my finest moments - Roll Tide!!! Some of  you reading were sitting right next to me in the fake uber. Ha ha. I would DIE if I knew my girls were riding with a random! Anyway, my husband spent time assuring me that this is all completely legit & that the app had a track on us...you know, in case the driver is the next Dahmer or Gacy. What the mess?? So, now that I'm an adult with good judgment, I had to push past the ridiculousness of it all & climb in the Uber. ...and that's just what we did.

Uber #1. Hop in. The car is crazy clean. This is when I realize that I could never be an Uber driver. "Excuse me, Madam, just sit in between the booster & the car seat. Yeah, kick last week's coloring sheet to the side & watch that pop tart remnant, I wouldn't want it to get on your dress. Oh, this song...yeah, it's Radio Disney. That wet on your ear? It's my labrador retriever in the back of the SUV". HA HA HA #momlife. I digress. It is the tidiest car that I've ever seen. The driver speaks a little of my language, but not a ton...which is cool, I'm not trying to chat it up, I'm planning my escape in case he goes full Manson on us. The radio is playing & it is freaking hysterical. It's Celine Dion, maybe her greatest hits, some slow instrumentals, some Josh Groban, & a really slow sad song that I couldn't place. I texted my friend Ashley & my dad & told them where we were, where we were headed, & what was on the radio - you know, in case we died. Then, right before we got out at Salem, we bonded a little. The Uber driver offered us some gum. Jimmy jumped on it, I hesitated, because it went through my mind that it may be laced with Molly or LSD, but, I took some...and stayed sober. I shouldn't have been such a skeptic & should've rolled with the kindness. We survived Uber #1 :)

Uber #2.  We get finished at Salem & decide that Uber was quick and fairly cheap, so if we wanted to see more things that day, we should just Uber back. Jimmy's an ole pro by now & has me up in another Uber before I can think of BTK or any other serial killer. Another insanely clean vehicle. However, this guy, he has tried entirely too hard to make it smell good. I felt like he had just emerged from a pool of cologne - I tried to come up with a reference here, but I don't even know what cologne is currently "cool". The smell is pungent. Then he has 3 (yes three) christmas tree air fresheners hanging from his rearview mirror. AND, he has sprayed some (NASTY) stuff in there to make it smell good. Y'all. I don't get headaches. Not prone to them, haven't ever had a problem with them. At about 8 miles down the road, I was nauseated and about to see lights flashing before my eyes. I can imagine that this is close to what a migraine feels like. I couldn't hardly keep my eyes open - because they were burning from all of the scents. He may have been trying to cover up for something, because his music of choice was gangster rap. It did kinda make me happier than the sadness of Groban from Uber #1. We listened to (uncensored) versions of 50 Cent, Tupac, & Snoop. It would've been a hysterical situation if I didn't feel like I needed a Phenergan & an Imitrex. But, we survived Uber #2.

Uber #3. This one got us to the airport on the day we were leaving. I wasn't on edge as much this time. Maybe because I was sleepy & my senses weren't as heightened. He also picked us up in a minivan. Not a creeper rapist van, but a Town & Country. Serial killers don't drive Town & Countries...do they?? I'm pretty sure the Zodiac drove a beat up something. We hopped on in. This guy didn't speak our language either. I could speak a few words of his....although I didn't try. We listened to Salsa music all the way to the airport. By the time I got out, I was happy, but wanted some chips and queso :) I kinda felt like an ole pro myself as we got out of Uber #3. And, we did get everywhere safely & there were no Ted Bundy emulates that got us.

I still think Uber is a little on the shady side. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't use it alone. I'm going to listen to the teachings of my parents, since I ignored in the late 90s - ha ha. But, it did get us where we needed to go - and it provided good fodder for a story - which you KNOW that I love!! So, overall, yay for Jimmy and his newfound millenial apps. He may Uber, have a backpack, & go to Pints & Pixels every now and again, but I promise with every fiber of my being, that he won't give in to skinny jeans!!! :)

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