We Got Us a Wal Mart!

Big news in this little area of town in which I live! Can you handle it?? We have gotten ourselves a Wal Mart. Let's be honest. Wal Mart just kinda is what it is for me. You may have heard me joke on it as a teenager and call it "Wal Mart fall apart". Ha ha. That's still funny, right there :) Or, it could be like my Dad loves to say..."if Wal Mart doesn't have it, you don't need it". Ha. Another funny. I have recently been singing the praises of the ordering of the groceries on your Wal Mart app, making an appointment to pick up the next day, and SITTING IN YOUR CAR while some sweet person comes and brings every tiny bit of grocery to your vehicle. That is life altering for busy Mommies! Cause if you're a Momma, you've endured a Wal Mart fit by one of your little people over some random Pop Rocks that were sitting by the checkout counter, or because of a 1987 lame remade DVD of the Care Bears that said toddler just HAD TO HAVE!! If you have witnessed these things & survived....then I'm holding my hand up in solidarity to you. If you haven't...I'm coming for you. I'm going to go to Wal Mart with you and personally stomp my feet and roll all over the ground in the aisles while screaming your name at 450 decibels. I'll make sure we are minutes away from having DHR called. And then as we roll out in our buggy, I'll tell you how much I love you and how beautiful you are and how much fun I have had....all in my sweetest voice of all time and make you love me again and give you amnesia to my epic display.

Oh, Maybe I just gave too much away. Maybe it's just me and my children. Pretend that scenario never existed. :)

So, let me tell you about the opening of our new, exciting Wal Mart! I'm hoping to have no epic toddler meltdowns inside of it....and so far, I am winning! We didn't get to attend opening day...I had to work. Let me re-iterate that it was a BIG deal. There were cheerleaders involved! I may have had two, or greater, facebook friends perform leaps outside of the doors that ended up on my newsfeed in a precious fashion! So cute! I'm really kinda jealous...although, my kids didn't get away with no documentation...we took a rather cute selfie in the parking lot, too...just two days after opening day. Sorry...Momma's gotta work. The first thing that I liked about the new Wal Mart is the parking lot. The asphalt is nice and dark and the lines for the parking lot are super dark and appropriately marked. I'm old and ocd and this makes me happy. The second thing that I liked was that there were no tears over the buggy as we arrived in the foyer. Okay, I know it's not a foyer....but it sounds so nice to call it that. It's the area where the buggies are. C even volunteered to ride in the buggy....as long as her sister rode too. Her sister is really just kinda too tall to be up in the buggy, but having C unleashed in the store is like having a pack of wild dogs loose when they are hungry and someone has just thrown out some old ham. Not to mention, I think everywhere is a hot bed for kid stealers and sex traffickers and my kids are cute, so I don't trust it. So, W took one for our team and hopped up in the buggy - with minimal complaints.We started cruising around in the WM....and, the buggy rolled without a bum wheel! Yes! The feeling of a hot knife cutting butter. Rolled like a Lexus, I tell you. Picture us rolling. (Tupac reference)!

Not only did we just go to check out the place, I needed to get new summer goggles for my kids. Y'all, this place was so well marked that we went STRAIGHT to the goggles! It was so good. W picked out some pink and white ones, and C found some Frozen ones with eyes that looked like snowflakes with Elsa and Anna on them. Bingo! Happy kids. Happy Mom.

Then, as I'm cruising, I look up and see a sweet couple from church & chat a moment. I got a hug from my sweet friend Tori and got to see her baby bump, and then I saw another lady that I knew. While these encounters were wonderful, especially because the kids were acting right and I had my hair curled and cute clothes on because we were going on a date night that night, this could be a big deal if I try to go up in Wal Mart in Wal Mart style. Oh, and don't fear, it IS going to happen. I have this thing where I always tell myself, "you know, I'm not from here, I don't know that many people. Who am I REALLY going to see"? Weeeeeelllll, it's time to embrace it, yeah, I'm not "from" here, but I've lived here since 2002 and we really do know a lot of peeps - I can think it's a small place if I want - but it's not that small! So, I guess now should be the time to give a collective "I'm sorry" for when you see me up in the WM with greasy hair, running clothes, and no makeup.

Next, as we are rolling through, we hear this super loud noise! W seems to think there's an AC malfunction and it's trying too hard to cool the new Wal Mart. No, no, that's not the case, because at this time, we hear a large clap of thunder. This loud noise is rain! W says to me, "You said that you want one of your children to become a meteorologist, so give me your phone and let me track the storm". Heartwarming, huh? We continue on our journey with my tiny future James Spann in the buggy and go smell candles to kill time, cause we can't leave now during a monsoon. We smell EVERY. SINGLE. CANDLE....and each choose our favorite scent - not to buy, of course - just for fun. As we are sniffing EVERY SINGLE CANDLE - the LIGHTS GO OFF!!! So, here we are, in the new Wal Mart, in a power outage! It didn't last long & I checked with my tiny meteorologist to make sure we weren't about to get blown away & she reassured me that there was a storm in Missouri. Guess she had gotten a little off of our state on the map, so she zoomed back to our state, and we noted it to be just a small summer shower, so there would be no taking cover today in the new Wal Mart. We then go through the clothing (which are deemed "hideous" by the 8 year old), and I agreed, even though I personally own a Faded Glory jacket that looks just like a Spyder jacket for a LOT less $$ that I wear to work sometimes (total confession right there, cause I'm not proud). Then we check out the garden department - which, as expected, stinks like every garden department that I've ever been in before. It's not WM's fault, it's just a distinct smell to me.

We pass the pharmacy and they gave me a free water bottle and coupons, despite the fact that I told them that we have no prescriptions. Nice on their part, she could've taken it away & gave it to someone who might give them a lot of business. Then we pass a dude from the vision center who asked if he could clean my glasses. He did & they were spotless. So grateful. He gave me a free sample and a cleaning cloth. Double nice. They remained amazing until C grabbed the lenses of them to tell me how clean they looked. :) We got up to the register,...and we had no waiting (woot woot). I paid for my stuff and the lady told me my total ($13.01) - see, it's not like Target - cause had it been Target, I would've lost myself and spent $113.01. Then, I opened my wallet and what did I see??? Nothing. Because I had left my debit card at home. Yep. That's right. We had ordered Jimmy Johns at work the day before and I kept my card in the front pocket of my scrub shirt. When I changed into my PJs that night, I put my debit card on my bathroom counter and told myself not to forget it. Guess what? I forgot it. A chill ran through me as I thought I had tainted my reputation at the new Wal Mart. No one likes a customer that can't pay for their stuff. It's kinda frowned upon. But, the Lord shined down on me, and I had a little bit of cash in a pouch! I remember as a kid, calling my Mom a "pocketbook millionaire", because she would just dig around in her purse long enough and random money would appear. I'm glad that yesterday I was able to have a little bit of that magic. I gave the chick my money and she opens her drawer to give me my change....and THEN guess what??? SHE didn't have any money, either!!! Aaaaahhhh!!!! We had to wait on her manager to get her some money on her register. It was all good, though & I got my change. Everyone was nice. We rolled back out to the foyer with no meltdowns and didn't set the sensor off at the door for any reason.

As we were walking to our car, the beautifully asphalted parking lot was sort of flooded. I had on some palazzo pants and flip flops and was carrying a three year old and a Wal Mart bag and couldn't appropriately hold my pants hem up. So, my pants got drenched. Like, put my feet in the pool kind of drenched. The perils of being five feet tall. That sucked pretty hard....but it wasn't Wal Mart's fault, so I'll totally go back :)

Overall, visit one was a success! I bet it's gonna be amazing when I need to pick something up super duper early before work...and now...there's no need to go to the Wal Mart at which you took your life into your own hands when you visited, and it was nasty and sketchy. We're uptown, baby! AND....word on the street is that there's Beauregard's (the wing place) - which will be killer for football season - and a new nail salon coming. Oh yeah!!! It's booming out our way!! If we get a Starbucks, Hobby Lobby, & Chick Fil A, there may never be a reason to go far from home again!!

Okay, who am I kidding...one cannot live on Wal Mart alone! But, it's super nice to know it's there!