What a boring title to my blog entry after a hiatus of approximately four months! I know y'all expected pure cleverness from a clear headed Amy. Ha. Not so much. I'm finally sitting down to put this crazy swirling vortex of feelings into words...not only because I didn't know what to say (yeah, it happens...even to me), or if I even wanted to chat, but also because I haven't sat down in four months. Sorta true, cause I am a full time working mommy and wife...and my kids aren't nappers - so y'all get it. Well, here I am...in a recliner with a fuzzy blanket while I have 2 napping kids & am kind of watching a bowl game with my sweetheart - only half interested because the REAL game was on last night! Can I get a Roll Tide?!?!?
Let's just start out with gut honesty: I am so happy to see 2015 deuce out. Bye Felicia, as the kids are saying...even though they probably didn't see the movie Friday in all it's glory back in the day to even get the reference....but, yeah, that. Bye Felicia. For all purposes - I realize that I am still a very, very blessed chick, regardless of circumstances that have fallen over 2015. I can't deny that at all, nor can my family. So...what did I learn in 2015? Here goes...
2015 brought some super duper highs. Our big girl excelled in first grade & started second grade in shining fashion as well. She is learning to play the guitar & turning out to be quite the musician. Our littlest made the transition to preschool beautifully & is becoming a hilariously fun little lady. AND...We are DIAPER FREE!!! Yeah man!!! Last year on January 01, I made the statement that 2015 was our year to end diapers - and yes it was!!! Woot woot!! So proud of our little blondie!! We took an absolutely AMAZING trip to Disney for Fall Break - one that we had kept as a secret since March & pulled off the coolest surprise EVER to two super pumped little people! Totally felt like a power couple!! Boom!! Our family unit is so tight, so supportive, & so precious. They have been a huge source of refuge through the part that I don't want to write about...
2015 dealt us some major lows as well. I have spent a lot of time dealing with a very personal tragedy...and my husband and I have each lost a grandparent in the span of two weeks. Thanks 2015.
Yes, I feel like I learned a lot in 2015. I learned a lot about people in general. I learned a lot about God. I learned a lot about caring for others and how to be cared for. We never know why God chooses us to walk a certain path, but sometimes we just have to. I have learned that God often doesn't give us answers when we ask "why" - or maybe we don't even have the right to ask that question - but I have learned that the only answer can be for us to give Him the glory through pain, no matter what. I have learned that you find out who your friends are in the midst of sorrow. I have learned never to underestimate the power of a text message, a Bible verse sent, a phone call, a meal picked up at the local BBQ joint, Rosies, or Olive Garden, a friend willing to ring your doorbell at the lowest point of your life and just to lay on your bed and cry with you, friends who will drop everything to come to your side when they have no idea what they are walking into, friends who will show up at your doorstep for a run - cause they know that's your therapy, and friends who will get up early and go out of their way for you - because they care & they know you are in need. I have learned the power of a loving husband who handles everything - who takes over - because you can't; who fields phone calls, & makes things happen for you because you don't know if life will ever be okay again, but he is gonna try his darndest to make sure it is as close to perfect as it can be. A husband who says the right things at the right time...sometimes if it is just "I don't know". I learned that God will NEVER - read that again NEVER - EVER - EVER leave you or forsake you. His word is solid. It's perfect. The Bible contains all you need for peace, comfort, relief. I learned that He can be so close when you seek Him that you can almost hear Him whisper in your ear and have His arm around your shoulders. He will send you who and what you need in times of sorrow and despair. I have solidified my knowledge that family is everything - the ones that truly won't let you down - even when it's really, really hard - and they will show up for you! I have learned that time heals a whole lot and that it is okay to smile after tragedy. I have learned that more people care about you than you think, but it is just as acceptable to have a small inner circle that you let in a little more than others. It's easier and safer that way, anyway. I've become a little more protective with myself.
So, before I write off 2015 and begin 2016 anew. I did want to acknowledge lessons through sadness. It is good to learn, I suppose. Although, couldn't I just take someone else's word for it? Ha. You know that I said earlier that I didn't even know if we had the right to ask "whys" to God anyway...I still stand by that. We just take our lessons & use them to better ourselves & to glorify Him. Romans 8:28 tells us that "...in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose". And, so with that, I take my lessons from 2015 and apply them to 2016. I pray that this year, I can be someone's person that sends the text message at the right time, or who shows up with dinner, or who cries with a friend, or who takes a trip with a friend's family to cheer them up. I pray that because I have seen how love shows up and serves, that I can repay that favor to someone who I love that is in need or low. Never take good times and happy mountaintop experiences for granted, because you need those memories when you are in the valley. But...you know who walks with you in the valley? Yep. Check out Psalms 23. It's God. He's legit. He's held me and my family. He sent our people to us. He loves us.
I do ask for something from you, my readers. If you aren't aware of the personal tragedy that I faced this year...please don't ask me about it or comment to ask about it on facebook. I realize that I am writing about it on a semi-public forum, but it is extremely personal to me...and I can be super duper private when I want to be :) Know that it does not involve our children, husband, our marriage, career, or family - so please do not speculate that it is anything like that. Also know that if you were one of the ones who texted, called, prayed, fed us, cried with us, or helped me to get life back to "normal" in some way, then this is my public thank you - you helped make my 2015 suck a little less...and helped me learn some lessons :) I love each and every one of you in a very special way!
2016 is gonna be awesome!!! Y'all remember my resolutions from 2015 - yeah...then just duplicate them for 2016 and you'll know what I'm striving for!! Hahahahaha!!! #resolutionsareoverrated
Just love. That's all.
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