One Whole Year!

A friend of mine once told me that the days were long, but the years were short. Granted, she had MUCH more reason to live by that mantra than I do, but I totally get it! There were days in the beginning that I wasn't quite sure I'd make it through. Not because of baby C, she is a dream baby, really...but because of the complications after delivery with me and baby C and the not knowing what would happen with Tumor's Corner. If you don't get that joke, you should read my blog from a year ago or so. I remember standing in the shower (that's where all the good, hard praying goes down) and asking God if I would ever feel normal again and would I ever look decent again, and would my boobs stop hurting, and would I ever not be worried. So...one year later - He provided (of course - should I ever doubt Him?) and the answers were as follows: yes; sort of, but not the same; yes - and you will be a rockstar nursing momma and she a rockstar nursing baby; and no, even though He doesn't want me to worry, I still will. I'm okay with His answers - as if He asked for my acceptance. Ha ha. Anyway....we have survived!!! ...and flourished, I feel :)

It's no surprise that she was a, well, surprise :) So, I find myself thinking how life would be if we hadn't been blessed with her. I would be more rested. I would have a flatter stomach. I could have worn a bikini last summer, and the summers in the future. We would have continued to have kid-free date nights. I wouldn't have ever taken any time off from running and had to struggle to (sort of) get back to running long distances. I wouldn't feel too fat to cut my hair. We would have more money. We could've gotten to take our ten year anniversary trip to somewhere exciting like we had originally planned. Our vehicle wouldn't seem entirely too small. I would have days to myself while W went to kindergarten and I would probably have joined a daytime Bible study and have found more time in His word and maybe even have been serving somewhere in the church. Sounds big, huh? Yeah...it does.

But not as big as this...what would I have missed out on?? The very things that make my world go 'round! That fuzzy, sweet hair. Those big beautiful blue eyes that look at me with such love. Those milk-drunk days in which she would rest in my arms after being nourished. Her pillowy, pink lips. The pat on my back when I pick her up. The way she plays with my lips and teeth. Her tiny voice saying our dog's name, Mama, Dada, attempting to say her sister's name, and duck. That tiny finger that points and holds up when you ask her how old she is. Her dancing (girl's got skills). Her snuggles. Her waves. Her itty bitty newly arrived teeth. Those open mouth kisses that sometimes land on my nose. The click of her tongue. Knowing she recognizes and wants me when I enter a room. The mischievous grin she gives while she ransacks my bathroom. Her combing her hair. Her love for meatballs and English peas. Her cheeks. Her touch. Her spirit. Just her. That's it, just her.

The year was short. I can't believe it has came and went. I can't believe any of it. I still can't believe she is ours and we are hers. There is nothing, and I mean nothing...not even that bikini bod or a million alone vacations, that I would trade for the moments that we have together. I see as I have a kindergartner, how the time slips away so quickly. I am so excited to watch this baby grow and to have witnessed all of the growing of the last year. I can't wait to hear everything she has to say and to watch her and her sister bond closer and take on the world together...even if sometimes, it's to scheme against us parentals ;)

God showed up for us, God showed out for us. I hope that we can make Him proud with the way that we raise this little one because He sure made us proud when He gave us her!!! Happy Birthday Baby C. You are our littlest sunshine!!!!