Yep. Sure do. I still have on my pajamas. So does my littlest girl. Heck, if Dubya wore pajamas, he would still be wearing his, too. It's one of those days that's kinda sunny, but weather's coming. I figure that pajamas would be the best attire for the day. It's also one of those days in which I keep trying to get little projects done, but C doesn't want me to clean my closet, or organize her old clothes to give to the poor. She wants me to hang out with her. Not even to do anything specifically. My house (which was thoroughly cleaned on Friday) is beginning to get junked up again. I just came in from blowing bubbles for my littlest girl. She was unimpressed. We watched the dog chase the bubbles and frolic in the grass. We came inside. She's bouncing in her jumperoo and rubbing her eyes. In a few minutes, I will nurse her to sleep *no comments from the peanut gallery* and snuggle her tight, while my house and projects wait, not near as important as holding this baby. Early this morning, I hugged my big guy and let my biggest girl wear her denim skirt to pre-school. The same denim skirt that I've said "no" to letting her wear to school a million times because it's not practical. But, it makes her smile, so it makes me smile. We all told each other that we loved one another. She skipped to the car in her sparkly flip flops and the denim skirt that makes her feel special. My biggest love wore his new shirt. He looked good in it. I told him so. He smiled his shy smile, I know it made him feel good, even if he would never admit such.
Yesterday there was a bombing. Another one. What the mess? It makes me sad, not only because one of my good, sweet friends has run Boston before (hey Shari) but by the grace of God, wasn't there yesterday...but has already qualified for next year. Or, because it is "my hobby" or because buttholes
tried to ruin what marathoners and the American spirit is all about. Perseverance and chasing your dreams. How dare these people mess up a run in the last 0.2 miles. Not that it would've been better at mile 12, you know what I mean. None, I repeat NONE of these people did anything wrong. People were just out enjoying themselves. Celebrating something that they, or their loved ones had been working relentlessly to do. We will never, ever, ever understand. Just like we don't understand 09/11/01, even though it's been almost 12 years. We don't understand because we are normal. Our minds don't work that way. I do understand that people begin to question God. I get it. Why did He let it happen, etc. That's our human, finite minds at work. It began with that darn Eve eating the apple. We weren't created to have to go through things such as this....but, I believe that we were given free will. Yes, my Jesus is alive, but unfortunately, so is Satan. He is quick to entice and seduce and twist the truth; to steal, kill, and destroy; and for that flat reason, things like yesterday occur. People make choices. Clearly, we see, someone(s) made some very, very bad choices yesterday. Innocent people were harmed because of it. Some people are turning to God (yay), but, we can't just decide to take him off of the proverbial shelf (you know, the one He is on because we can't have Him up in our schools or sports activities or t-shirts or anything) because something happened that makes us realize evil walks amongst us, or that life is finite, or because people have died and we need to pretend like all of them are going to heaven. Oooh. That last statement may make people click off the blog. But, it's my blog, my beliefs, so here goes. Yes. What does it do for me? Yesterday reminds me of the fact that life is fleeting. It is finite. I am not guaranteed anything. So, let's wake up, people - and I'm talking to myself - because I don't always live it like I should. I wallow around in my pajamas and focus on the sadness. God loves us. Things like yesterday will happen. I believe they will continue to happen until Jesus returns. I believe they will become more commonplace. What is my job? My job is to love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Show people. Tell people. Who is the embodiment of love? It's Jesus Christ. I should push myself to love like Jesus does. Because of what He did for me - and for you. What if someone with whom I have come into contact WAS in the line of fire in Boston? Would I know without a doubt that I had done what God had called me to do? To tell them about His son and His immense love for them - even to die a terrible death to buy their unworthy pardon? Would I know that I shared that with them? Did they feel loved by me? Did I forgive them? Did I tell them how much I loved them? Did I serve them on Earth?
I am not good at this. I am the first to tell you that I'm holding a grudge against someone now. I roll my eyes at people's stupidity and snub people when they do things that I do not like. I am an introvert and I don't want to serve others. It's much too difficult for me to make the social effort. Plus, I am crazy self critical and I feel like they all think I'm fat, ugly, and stupid anyway. I am really really bad about carrying out good ideas to do for others, because I'm a poor time manager. Here I am. But, none of this matters. These are all Satan's ways to get in the way of me carrying out what God has asked me to do. But, it is in times like these that I realize that moments on this Earth are fleeting. I don't want a single person with whom I come into contact to die and not know love. Real love...and the reason why I feel it is so important to show this love. Love incarnate - Jesus Christ. So, my call to you guys is to figure out why it's so important to love people like they may not be there tomorrow. I'm going to try to step it up, despite all of the reasons above that I have not to do so. If you want to chat about it, hit me up. I'll chat about it with you. I don't have all of the answers....but my husband does, he's a deacon. Ha. Just kidding. I definitely am surrounded by people who know a lot more than I do and I will always search for answers for you :)
It is my prayer that if bad things have to happen, that we can have revival because of them. My prayers go out to the people of Boston, the people who have seen ridiculous amounts of carnage and may never be the same. My prayers go out to everyone - that we can change a little because of this terror. I don't want any of the deaths or injuries to be in vain. So, for this, if just for today, I am going to stay in my pajamas and love my people from my house. Tomorrow I will work on loving others from outside of my safe haven :)
No comments:
Post a Comment