Remembering

I'm really excited to share all about my life-changing trip to Ecuador...and I will...along with pics...but, today I feel the need to pay homage to this dark day in our history.

Ten years. One whole decade. Time flies, huh? Yeah, it does for sure - but when something so insane and so emotional and so unheard of occurs, you seem to be able to recall the emotions and the minute details like it was yesterday.

I was in graduate school. I lived with my parents. I had moved out of my townhome less than a month previously...I was set to graduate in December and was getting married in February, so I was kickin' it with the parents in the interim. I don't remember getting ready that morning...pre-planes...because it was just another day, another morning. I do remember driving to my job at the time. I worked on campus as a Counselor. I was in the final semester of my Graduate program. I was driving my Maxima. I was wearing a black skirt from Old Navy, a light yellow button down shirt with shirring on the sleeves and tiny bows on them. I had on really tall black wedge heels. I carried a really big black purse. It was a morning like any other, I was drinking a diet coke, driving the 45 min drive, listening to 107.7 the X. It was typical morning fodder, banter back and forth between the morning hosts. Then someone came into the studio and reported the first plane. The hosts made it seem like a tragic accident - and even kind of joked a little about it. By the time I pulled into my parking place, it had become obvious that this wasn't the case - the hosts began apologizing for their jokes and were scrambling for more info. I remember feeling my heart rate increase and feeling the need to get into my office quickly, I had a tv in there. I ran to my office, over brick sidewalks and hills in my wedge heels. I innately knew that something was bad. I burst through the door beside my office, unlocked my door, threw my stuff in and continued to the main office. As I ran into the main office, the director and the secretary were agape at the television. Information was unfolding quickly. The second plane hit. The towers were aflame. I was nauseated. We watched in shock and horror as the flames spread. I remember not being able to take my eyes off of the television. I sat on the floor in my skirt and watched as it all happened. As the towers fell, I remember feeling a sense of insecurity. The airspace was no longer safe. Our "perfectly safe" country was not safe. The other planes went down. The Pentagon. The rumors of more planes. Air travel was shut down. SHUT DOWN. Wow. I watched as long as possible and then felt the need to do something. Anything. I was a counselor, for pete's sake. Didn't someone need to talk about this tragedy? Apparently not. No one but me. So, I did what any good American would do. I made ribbons. Red, white, and blue striped ribbon and put it on my lapel. Passed them out among the college. I wore that bad boy for a really long time. I actually still have it in my jewelry box....I will never throw it away. It's a reminder of all of these events.

Not much happened at my job that day. We pretty much watched the tv all day. I remember calling my Dad. He was still working at the time. I asked him if he was okay. Kind of a dumb question...it's not like he was in NYC...but I didn't mean physically, I meant emotionally. I called Jimmy and asked him the same thing. Everyone was just numb. Numb. Sucker punched. Unsure of how to feel. My favorite part of that day (can you say favorite and 9/11 in the same sentence?) was that I got to go home to my parents. I got my nails done that day. How petty. I ate Subway for dinner. How petty. When I got home, I put on my pjs and watched the wall to wall coverage with my Dad. My Dad has a radio that gets news from all over the world. We listened to the coverage from other countries. Super cool stuff. I slept...kinda. I couldn't turn my mind off.

The next morning, I got up. Wall to wall coverage still on tv and radio. I gauge the severity of things based on tv & radio coverage. Yeah, no songs...stuff is still bad. I drove to my second job as a research assistant. I blindly did my duties that day as I listened to the radio in my office. I finally heard a song..."In a New York Minute". It was filled with quotes from people regarding 9/11 and where they were when the towers fell. I don't think that counted as things "getting better". I didn't have class that afternoon, I'm not sure why, but I didn't. I got to go home to my parents' again. I remember the drive very clearly...mainly the part when I pulled into the driveway. I sobbed. It was a pitiful, overwhelming sob. There was some hyperventilation involved. Jimmy was coming into town that night. Praise God. I needed him. I needed to hug him and to see him. It was at that moment that I realized how hugely this event was going to change our society. Us. The USA.

I jokingly say that if you didn't cry on 9/11 that you are the biggest jerk in the world. I still agree with that. The images were breathtaking. The stories heartbreaking. The reality was just unbelievable. The unity beautiful. Democrats and Republicans on the same page - if only for a minute. The singing of hymns, and patriotic songs. The acknowledgement of God again. I thought that it might last. Yeah right. That is almost the saddest part of the story. Something that could have changed everything for good, just didn't. It did for a month or so, but then, life became normal again. The only reminder was that dorky "terror alert" thing that showed on the 24 hour news networks all the time. Eventually, that went away too. The only other time that people seemed on the same page again was during the "Shock and Awe" campaign when we bombed the crap out of em. That quickly faded too.

Everyone forgot. It's funny how details can remain so fresh. I mean, really, I remember what I ate and what I wore and how I felt....but that the big picture can be lost so quickly. It has been lost. I say that with a sense of sadness. I hate what things have become. I hate how quickly people turned on GWB. I'm gonna stop there, mainly bc I don't want this to become political...then I'd be as guilty as the haters. I want this to be about remembering....if only for a second. Remembering when our country was unified. We were unified in sorrow, in nationalism, in shock, and in pride. We helped one another. We held one another up. Family was important again. If only for a moment.

Remember how you felt that day. I have.