'tis the age old question. People debate it ad nauseum. I guess it's a bit of both, but obviously, I choose nature for things like the color of my eyes, the fact that my arms are gigantic, and my love for all things sweet. Mainly, I think nurture is the winner. Yeah, people can surprise you and become a CEO despite growing up in the slums and being abused, but typically, you are a product of your environment. Maybe you think I'm a dud because I say such, but behavior is learned - it's a cycle, most often a vicious one, if you're brought up in that kinda place. I speak Southern because my family does, I love tomato based dishes because my Momma cooked that way, I have certain insecurities because that's the way I was raised, I think that Vlasic pickles are the bomb and that Claussens are rubbery and gross - because that's what Mom & Dad bought.
I bring up such a topic because today is Father's Day. I have been thinking about it alot lately and have realized that I married my father. Eww...what?!? you might ask. What I mean is that my husband is pretty much the spitting image of my father. Not in looks...my hubby is tall and blonde & my Dad is 5'8ish & doesn't have alot of hair. Hi dad :) In personality, morals, Godliness, family values, hobbies, and work ethic, they are kindred spirits. It's neat, really, to think about. I grew up watching my father give unconditionally of himself to meet the needs and give the love to me and my mother that Christ meant for us to receive from a father and a husband, respectively. I grew up in a home where I never, ever worried what type of environment I would walk through the door and encounter. I grew up in a home where my friends were embraced with love by my parents. I grew up in a home where education was key and being smart was cool. I grew up in a home where I never feared divorce of my parents. I grew up in a home where God was the center. Perhaps, this last fact is why all of the other ones fell into place so easily.
I have now been married for a little over 8 years and I realize that the exact reasons why I felt so "at home" at home (does that make sense?) growing up are the exact same reasons why I feel so "at home" at home today. My husband is my Dad redux. This is why Dads are so important in the lives of their daughters. Little girls look to their fathers for the answers - unconsciously as well as consciously - how am I supposed to be treated by a man? how am I supposed to feel about ---- (fill in the blank)? how am I supposed to live my life, essentially. Mommies are super important, too - don't get me wrong - but I truly believe that I fell in love with and married the man that I did because of an example that began being set for me long, long, long ago by my father. So, in the words of John Mayer (who is a douchebag, but hit the nail on the head with these lyrics) "Fathers be good to your daughters. Daughters will live like you do". So, how do Daddies learn to be good Daddies? They follow the example of the ultimate Daddy - our Heavenly Father. Seriously - deep stuff.
On this Father's Day, I am very blessed and full hearted to have strong men in my life. I am blessed to have a Daddy who learned from his Heavenly Father; who taught me that real men are family men who love their wives and children and the Lord (and Bama football) and that real men are honest, hardworking, and their word is as good as gospel. I am doubly blessed that I received the nurturing that I did & married a man who meets all of the above criteria.
Happy Father's Day, friends.
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