CMA fashion review

Y'all know you love it!!! My take on the fashions of the 2010 Country Music Awards. We all know that I'm gonna be wearing scrubs the next two days, so I really have NO room to knock these folks. It's all in good fun people, all in good fun :) Enjoy...

Carrie Underwood - slight green tint at the top of the hair - maybe it was the lighting, maybe you're swimming for exercise? Dress looks like it was intended to be short, but someone at the last minute said, "hey, let's add this...I just found some extra material!"

Gwyneth Paltrow - why are you at the CMAs? Why is some of your dress missing? Clearly, you haven't eaten in a while. Sandwiches are our friends. If I have to eat, then you do too.

Taylor Swift - you know that I love you and want to hang out with you. Red is bold & awesome! Get it girl! You seem so fun & down to earth - like I'm expecting a text from you anyday!

Kellie Pickler - I love you and also want to hang out with you! Maybe you should try walking on the brunette side, too. You look monochromatic - with the hair, the skin, & the dress - and some slight boobie droop. Everyone gets a chance for an oopsie...this is yours, my friend.

Julianne Hough- I find it interesting that Hough is pronounced "Huff". The English language is so strange. But I digress. You look beautiful & totally carry off that dress. I don't really know what you sing, except for maybe a song last summer. You are pretty, though.

Nicole Kidman - I totally had that dress in pink....IN 1995!!! Hello sister, wake up!! You are successful, have a daughter, and are married to Keith Urban. Step it up!

Keith Urban - I like you, but I think that you got dressed in the backseat of the car & missed a spot or two shaving. *hangs head in shame because I may get lambasted by my friends for this one*

Leighton Meester - who are you? do you sing? do you act? Am I just an old fogey who is out of the loop? Your face & hair is impeccable, but your dress looks like it was stolen from an animal at the Birmingham Zoo and your shoes came from Fredericks of Hollywood. Ouch.

Katherine Heigl - another person that I'm not sure why she is there, but I think she always looks great. Maybe I'm on a brunette bandwagon, but tone down the blonde a little & lower the pompadour - you kinda look like that chick on Jersey Shore...Snookie? Is that her name? But, your dress is pretty & you have a rockin' figure.

Hilary Scott - so...someone just told me that she is in the band Lady Antebellum. Lots of my friends like them, I don't really know what they sing, so I may like them too & just not know it. Um...it's really bad y'all. That ruffle, that fabric...oh my!

Miranda Lambert - I like your songs. I have a few on my ipod. Pretty color dress, but the style of it reminds me of the 8th grade pageant (in which I didn't even get in the top 10 and subsequently didn't eat for a decade), so you can imagine how it made me feel.

Blake Shelton - you look dapper in your suit. I like it, but I must admit that it is hard to respect you after Bro. Joel Frederick read the lyrics of your song "It's All About Tonight" from the pulpit & I really realized that they are straight up not reflecting what I would like to portray in my life...but then again, I have a couple of bad tunes on my ipod, so people who live in glass houses....(you know the rest). OH...and I'm mad at you because my husband has had "Hillbilly Bone" in his mind for a week now & keeps singing it. AND, he gets it mixed up with "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" and makes for a crazy mix. Ha ha!

Billy Ray Cyrus - Wow dude. No lie...when I saw your pic, I thought to myself, "oh, is that George Michael? What is he doing at the CMAs?" You are breaking my achy breaky heart.

Jennifer Nettles - WT makeup. Enough said.

Martina McBride - I love you so much and don't want you to be wearing that dress. I'm sorry that your stylist failed you.

Sheryl Crow - you are so naturally pretty. We had some really great times together in the 90s and I still love you. If it makes you happy, it can't be that ba-aa-ad. :)

Laura Bell Bundy - who are you? Are you kin to Al? You do kinda remind me of Kelly Bundy? Better than reminding me of Ted Bundy, but still not that great of a compliment.

Sara Evans - your legs are freakin' awesome! You are married to Jay Barker (RTR) and you are pretty. Those shoes are a National disaster, but I am going to overlook them because I was awed by your calves. I do also find it slightly funny that you have a side ponytail. Oh, then again, maybe that's cool now & I'm just outta the loop.

Joanna Garcia - who are you? (are you sensing a trend here? maybe it's me and not them.) Your hair is gorgeous & deep purple is totally your color. You look really pretty. Maybe I should learn who you are.

Jason Aldean - who in the devil is with you? I think I saw her at the Wal-Mart in Hampton Cove last week. Her rub on tan is orange & uneven. Her hair needs a highlight job & looks as if it was done in the Wal Mart beauty salon with a small barrel curling iron, tons of Aqua Net, and some Goody's bobby pins. Negate all this if it's your Mom - I don't wanna be talkin' bout nobody's mama. She looks like she rode the Big Green Tractor to the CMAs.

Gretchen Wilson - I don't care if people think you are trash. Your hair looks pretty & I like your boots. Sure, you should've dressed up a little more, after all, you have on a sweater dress, but I just don't think that dressing up is your style - to each her own - and confidence is beautiful!

Dierks Bentley - *giggle giggle* I like you a lot. Your hair is a little too curly though. I like your music. *giggle giggle*

Bo Bice - bless your heart! Do you have COPD/Chronic Bronchitis? You look like a blue bloater!! (I know that all my nursing friends are howling right now) Maybe you just got off of drugs. If so, we are proud of you & totally excuse the bloat.

Carrot Top - are you really at the CMAs? Give it up. Everyone knows you are on 'roids.

LeAnn Rimes - I have disliked you for as long as I can remember. You only solidified it when you added homewrecker to your resume. You aren't cute & your dress looks like it came from Forever 21. Boom. Cheaters Never Prosper!!!

My husband just asked me..."are you talking about people on your blog?" My answer to him was, "no, I am talking about their clothing, so that makes it okay". I surely hope so... :) Oh, and never fear, I don't make fun of us "real" people's clothing - because we don't put ourselves out there like that & pay millions of dollars to make ourselves "fake beautiful"!! It's the inside, folks, the inside!

Love to my peeps <3