Lately....

I've had a few folks be like, 'what the mess, Amy?' regarding my last post. Really, y'all didn't want to hear it. I was PMS-ing like a big dog, my car broke down, my kid had RSV and wasn't sleeping, my husband and I hadn't gotten to have more than a paragraph per day conversation in a week, we didn't have any relief for help, I hadn't ran in a week, I had to call out from work one day, my husband had to call out two days, our house was a wreck, we had no food in the house, my team had lost the Iron Bowl, I hadn't had time to pray, I convinced myself that God hated me and that I had no friends, etc, etc. You guys didn't wanna hear the pity party. Anyway, it's a new day. I'm glad for a new day. People are always asking me about being an introvert, because no one can believe it. So, I've thought a lot about what it means for me. My best description would be that I feel like I feel emotions and thoughts differently than a lot of people. Make sense? I feel really deeply. I overanalyze, and for those who know me, I beat a dead horse on every issue. My heart physically hurts for people and situations so much that I have no choice but to kind of ignore it or I won't be able to function properly. I guess that's part of my struggle in serving others. I almost have to pretend like bad situations don't exist in order to live my life. I joke about being sunshine and unicorns, and yeah, that's what it needs to be on a daily basis. I am a realist in the fact that I am able to step outside of situations and view facts in a very flat manner for what they are - especially because of the career that I have chosen- but still kind of hope for the best. Probably makes no sense whatsoever to y'all. Ha. I feel energized after I've had time alone and I enjoy just getting a small opportunity to sing alone in the shower, or to read a book, especially to run, or heck, even to blog. On the flip side, if I get too much time alone, I think....and that's dangerous territory. It can turn into something negative. It's a balance. I do enjoy time with people, but in spurts, because it wears me out afterward. I do enjoy making others smile and laugh, and love it in the moment, but I enjoy coming home and taking a nap when it's all said and done :)

So, that's the deal for y'all wondering and asking. And if you don't care, I guess that's cool too...just don't give me time to think about it ;)

I've got a few topics on my mind. I've written a few blogs in my head over the last couple of weeks. None of which are that funny. Guess I'm in the same state of mind that every busy person in America is right now. It's stupid, really. Mainly because I should be pumped up and blogging about the awesomeness of Christmas. It frustrates me every year more and more, and partially it's my own fault. I did this thing this year, right. It's this jute ribbon with 24 envelopes on it. You open an envelope every day and there's something that you have to do. Some are easy, like 'read a bible verse', others are big, like 'get a Christmas tree' or 'go look at lights' or 'make cookies and take them to someone'. Good lord. Ridiculous. My big kid is pumped up and wants to open them first thing every morning. She complains about some of them, others she wants to do RIGHT THEN. Here's the kicker. We have done, um...maybe 3 or 4 of them, and it's the 18th day. Too much pressure. I thought it was gonna be fun and exciting, but nope....too much pressure. That d#$n elf. Her too. Too much pressure. If I get asked again why Peppermint didn't move last night, I'm going to scream and tell her that Peppermint didn't move because Mommy and Daddy are too dang tired and busy to move her!!! Do y'all feel that way? Is everyone as busy as we are? Does everyone else feel like this....or am I just even more of a poor time manager than I thought? We haven't gone to see Santa. Santa's village? Nope. Tinsel trail? Nope. Any cool, fun traditions? Nope. Heck, I just feel like I'm trying to keep my head above water. Bottom line...I just feel like Christmas shouldn't be this way. I feel like all we do is run like nuts trying to live our lives and then you throw a bunch of other junk on top of it to stress us out. Another jerk Mom move - my kids don't have Christmas outfits this year. It's too expensive. They are wearing squeezing into last years. And....while I wrote this, my kid tried to get off of my bed by herself and fell down, and I ate some crazy low fat, gluten free, organic, no gmo mini chocolate bar and it started popping in my mouth. I think it's the same technology as pop rocks. What the mess???!!!! OH, and I've just discovered that Snapfish didn't ever save the calendar that I made on Sunday night that took me an hour and a half to make, and it kept apparently pretending like it was saving, and obviously it wasn't. It wouldn't let me add it to my 'shopping cart', so I thought I'd try again today. Well, here we go. Snapfish thinks it never existed.

Merry Christmas.

Holy ----, where's the tylenol?!?!?!

Okay....maybe I've stopped complaining enough and my next blog will be funny or happy or sweet :) Thanks for walking in the dark with me. Ha ha.